Black athletes dating white
Nobody has any idea how bad the abuse was, or why we divorced, and I still have to see my ex on occasion.
They have “coincidentally” met several times, and he was rude to her on multiple occasions.It’s heartening to see that you understand this as a personally painful but acceptable outcome—ultimately, it’s for the best that Anita does not feel financially pressured into giving up a child that she wants to parent.You don’t say, however, that she is in danger of a medical or housing crisis without your support—just that she will not be able to afford “the same level of care” without your continued assistance.It is worth having, regardless of whom your daughter is dating, and I’m glad you’re prepared to start now.Dear Prudence, My husband and I have been preparing to adopt a baby from “Anita” for six months.Let her know that sometimes even a nurse defending her patients’ legal rights can be arrested and dragged out of the hospital she works in, and that a child named Tamir Rice was shot by police as he played in a park—that “compliance” cannot save someone who was shot less than two seconds after the officer got out of his car.
This will be an ongoing conversation, and it will often prove challenging and uncomfortable.
But upon rereading your letter—the fact that you appear to have been paying Anita directly, that you found out by accident that she can’t go through with the adoption, that there’s no mention anywhere of any mediators—I suspect you have been pursuing an independent adoption.
If you have been working with an attorney, signed any sort of agreement with Anita, or had any contact with a reputable agency, please seek advice from them about what responsibilities you may have toward her for the remainder of her pregnancy.
We’ve paid Anita’s medical bills and an allowance so Anita didn’t have to work too hard during her final trimester. My husband and I wish Anita well, because we want her baby to succeed, but we also want to sever our relationship with her.
She’s due in six weeks, and we discovered by accident that at some point she’d changed her mind. Anita won’t be able to afford the same level of care without our money, and her mother has accused us of being heartless. We can’t afford to support Anita and pursue adoption.
But if nothing else, let this serve as a useful lesson in why it is so important to work with a reputable agency that balances the needs of birth parents and prospective adoptive parents, for situations just like this one.